| I am an exceptional child with exceptional experiences. This could lead me to exceptional experiences and insights as an adult. I now understand these almost perfectly, but communicating this is problematic. There is no existing, adequate language for this, but I do meet others who have similar insights and they too are intellectually and emotionally isolated. Many have labels and are stigmatised. Attempts at expressing ourselves are often misunderstood and result in antagonism & abuse, masquerading as care. We are mostly forced to entertain others, to humour normality and become subjugated to the whims of classifying theories. We are tomorrows people and we are displaced before our time. We are forced to comply with the limiting requirements of those who are unable to understand difference and the potential we have for the benefit of all future humanity. We are honoured in our fame and notoriety but otherwise dismissed as a nuisance & misfits. We become the problem, because we do not fit others expectations. When we eventually stamp our feet and make a stand against the abuse and prejudice, we are described as abusive. When we cry out to be left alone and be free to be ourselves, we are described as angry and potentially violent. When we are constrained 'in our best interests' and fight back, we are delinquent, offenders or mentally ill. When we speak up about the injustice to ourselves and others, we are often seen as deluded, paranoid, over sensitive and irrational. When on category fails there is always another. Personal Difference is a neutral quality. What we do with it determines the positive and negative social outcomes. Unfortunately, it is only those who fully 'experience' their differences that can properly understand this difference in others. If we are 'worked on' by those without this perception, we can become these negative outcomes (Ever heard of self-fulfilling prophesies). The problem is that so called 'normal' people often do not see the part they play in our misery and distress. It is a neglectful form of abuse. Abuse is everywhere, in every institution and culture. It knows no boundaries and has always been there. For centuries there have been those who say 'nothing can be done'; 'It is in human nature'. Those who acquire some power almost invariably want to keep it at any cost; favouring those who they can dupe into keep them there, often at the expense of those they are charged to protect. Professionals and Institutions are forced to compromise, in the interests of politically & philosophically motivated prejudices. We can all be naive, or ignorant enough to pretend this is not happening. Its a kind of democracy I suppose; If most people believe something to be true (or not true), it must therefore be the case. We are also great at collective 'projection' as well as collective denial. It is all happening over there, or next door, or in that class, or the other culture. Wake up! we are part of it. Our culture promotes selfish actions and 'programming' kids into fitting in with what everyone else has learned to be comfortable with. We live in a culture which justifies 'relative' abuse. Many Professionals and their Institutions are risk avers and protect their own position by resisting intervention until there are physical marks and 'incontrovertible' evidence. At that point they can justify being prescriptive (follow Policy), intrusive and disempowering to all, even when they have read the evidence wrong. The prescriptive, limited ways of thinking often means that professionals see just what they are looking for (a well understood phenomenon). Further more, these institutionalising effects often prescribe that all children fit a standard mould, unless they fit a known and established pattern of being 'exceptional'. Actually, most adults are hopeless at recognising exceptionality, its beyond their experience. We all know of famous exceptions of people who do not fit the mould. These understood exceptions are 'good examples' of people surviving and succeeding, in spite of these adverse conditions for their exceptional 'difference'. There are professional exceptions also, people who have insight into difference, who are able to 'understand' the positives of difference. There are a few parents and professionals who try to be proactive and enabling at an earlier stage, but they are severely punished for doing so and carry a heavier moral and ethical burden as a result. 'Regression to the Mean' tends to treat everyone as average and kills inspiration and social advancement. People have learned to fear difference and Institutions re-enforce these blinkered attitudes. Most 'exceptional' Kids end up frustrated, misunderstood and mismanaged. Stifle their means of natural expression and you should not be surprised if they become withdrawn, or else 'act out ',using their hidden exceptional skills and motivations. The mediocre perspectives of institutions generate the same irresponsible, narrow minded attitude which had Thatcher and Regan determine that Banks and Insurance Companies can Govern themselves, without 'interfering' Rules to protect us. The same attitude which had 'comic' newspapers determining what is proper practice, in public interests and in regulating the conduct of its members newspapers. The same regression to the mean characteristics which have determined one way of doing most things for everyone, including how to 'keep kids in line'. One size never did fit all and never will. It is also the same attitude which has government agencies being supervised by Quangos and the belief that health and social services can be more efficiently provided by commercial operations, or when run along quasi commercial lines. These dogmatic attitudes are highly duplicitous. The decisions were supposedly made on the basis of the mysteries of 'economic science'. This invariably benefitted the organisations and institutions who lobbed for such changes. Any surprises? The same attitude which determined the liberalisation of critical commercial institutions also determined that professional institutions should be severely constrained, by governmental, or quasi governmental agencies. Teaching, Health Care and Social Care are highly, restrictively regulated, with little real protection of the users of service. In fact these often create severe restrictions on individual liberty and the flexibility of professionals to meet individual client / patient needs. The logic behind these moves was to stop abuses by the minority. The effect was to generally lower standards, alienate some of the most needy clients and patients, generate the next generation of disenfranchised and disenchanted young people, increase bureaucratic costs at the expense of direct services and stultify creativity in all professional practices. Fear of making mistakes, or of a few people ripping the state off, has reduced the quality of service to all (regression to the mean). We can see the cumulative effects of these attitudes and incompetent decisions, some 30 years on, in the changed attitudes of ordinary people and the failure of institutions who operated without sufficient constraints on their greed for power and control. Institutions of all kinds set the scene for ordinary people and for the young in particular. This current generation have been given a template for behaviour that will haunt us for up to 3 more generations. The incompetent are in control and wont leave. Institutions have an important purpose in the civilised society, we cannot absolve ourselves of civil responsibility without serious consequences for us all. Britain even became know as 'Rip off Britain'. USA & UK continued to make serious enemies world wide. Russia developed a rather aggressive, mafia style of commerce and the Western Brokers sycophantically leapt at the chance of being part of the Bonanza. The collapse of east west tensions predictably lead to increased tensions else where. Conflict makes money - 'Its simples'. Of course, governments, industry and commerce dismissed the rest of the worlds complaints as politics of envy, intellectually justifying the abuse of their economic power to disadvantage others. Unfortunately, like the 'mafia' style commercial operations it engendered in other nations, it set the scene for nations and individuals to fight with their might and bend, ignore, or change the rules. When thing went wrong, it was the 'stupid' countries fault. The Western Nations made the Greedy World we have today. Of course, it is true that human beings have been violent, abusive and dishonest for thousands of years. At the same time, they have also had Rules of Engagement in War and Treaties for Peace and Trade. Human society has mostly, steadily and intelligently dragged itself out of its primitive stupid & selfish past. Even we were becoming quite civilised at one time. Unfortunately, every now and then, some convincing Neanderthal type comes along and convinces themselves (and often others) that it is sometimes OK to lie, cheat, deceive and abuse people (sometimes in legally acceptable terms - delusional terms), if they are naive, stupid, or vulnerable enough to let it happen to them; Institutionalised dishonesty & delusion. That is the bottom line. We can all be naive & ignorant enough to pretend it is not happening. Its a kind of democracy I suppose; If most people believe something to be true (or not true), it must be the case. We are also great at collective 'projection'. It is all happening over there, or next door, or in that class, or the other culture. Wake up! W e are part of it. I have lived the consequences as a child, as an adult and as a Professional. I am not so easily convinced by 'Intellectual Rationals'. As a Child - I thought like as an Adult and put away childish things. As a child, I first assumed that it was normal to be beaten with a slat of wood and punched; made to stand-up-still for hours and told you are stupid, a jinx, pathetic and the cause of a parents problems. I also thought it was normal to get touched up by adults, or for them to get drunk and then kick you round the room for rejecting, or criticising them. I talked to others in kids homes and realised how lucky I was. They felt unable to talk to adults. All things are relative in our democracy. When I got older (between 6 & 11) I was able to defend my mother from her beatings a little (but usually paid the price with a bruise or black eye). When I was 17 I finally hit back. It felt good and it stopped the abuse - so fighting back is OK, provided you have been abused. That's a form of democracy. I warned him first and he didn't listen (neither did the police). After surviving being a child, I looked to became a teacher, then a social worker. I casually told social work colleagues how prevalent abuse was, in all kinds of families, schools, children's homes and homes for disabled people. I described how sad and deprived the kids lives often were; How some described being sexually molested and even raped. This was a while ago but things have not really changed so much. Kids are still not properly listened to, or circumstances competently investigated. I described how these kid's family experiences were sad enough, but sometimes the arrangements for their alternative care was more distressing than the experience within their families. Also apparent was the indifference and insensitivity that kids were shown, when taken into care. Responses were often disproportionate and sometimes ignored and delayed too long. Clearly these kids were either not being listened to, or had not the marks to show the emotional pressures and abuse. I was told I was exaggerating and these Professionals spoke about the years of experience they had and how naive I was by comparison. My reply then is the same as my reply now. Some have many years of experience; all from the same limited, prejudiced perspective. I can't help but see every experience as an individual event, every day of my own and others lives. Another typical argument is that those who have experienced abuse are too 'emotionally involved'. Really? Experience is relative but denial is universal. Nothing is sacred. Anyone, anywhere, at any time, can be deluded that abusive behaviour is absent, or else acceptable under the circumstances. Some of the most dangerous delusions are not those of the individual, but those of a group, culture or society. Cultures & societies become 'sick'. We need a cure. Professionals tend to reflect social norms, or set the bad attitudes & examples for others. Some still get it right though, even under this scrutiny. Please Protect us from the 'Experts': Some of those who decried and dismissed my own and other's early childhood experiences became self appointed 'Experts' in sexual abuse later. God help us all. Now, there are still some who question my 'qualifications', to do the effective work I do. I suggests they leave their job. They are not fit to do it. They see difference as abnormal and anger, or criticism as flaws. They are inherently prejudiced and narrow minded. They mistake being 'decisive' & 'rational' as being the same as being 'right'. Social Work and Health & Social Care in general, requires intelligence, critical insight, good judgment, open mindedness, ability to reflect on events and experience and an ability to be empathetic, enabling & inclusive. You never fully qualify as a social worker, only as a social mechanic. Its easy to follow policy; all you need is a retentive memory and blinkers. You can't study insight and wisdom. These are required for the early recognition of institutionalised abuses, which are always there. Listen to disclosures, intelligently check things out. Speak up, but keep an open mind, in all respects. Appreciate that people are fallible and make errors, look for consistency and inconsistency. Never be abusive or insensitive, to any side; it makes people defensive. Make your choices; but we will continue to highlight failings until 'all' professionals & managers hear the message; Get adequate insight and hone intuitive skills. Nothing is sacred; not even professional status and title. We all make mistakes; acknowledging this takes courage. Errors are an unavoidable consequence of trying to get things right; mistakes are the consequence of not recognising and correcting the errors. Get real, be transparent and get honest. There are no real experts, other than the expertise of an individual's experiences, expressed in the terms that the person is best able to use, to represent their unique experience and consequences. No two abuses are the same, any more than any two people. Whatever the intentions; I have seen too many consequences of 'Good Intentions' and 'Protecting People'. I see the aftermath and often have to work with it. Back off a bit, look critically at what you are asked to do, in whatever job your are doing, as Parent, Employer, Manage, Employee; Salesperson or Professional. Think and reflect upon your actions and their longer term consequences. Take 'Professional' responsibility and override inappropriate Institutional Directives, which compromise Ethics and Human Rights. We all pay the price for our failings.
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